Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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