We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Randomize
