The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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