My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
