At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
