dude i'm inner monologue high
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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