Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Is this like a preordered booty call?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
