nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
