I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
How naked do you want me to be?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
