no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
