Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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