I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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