also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
