her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize