You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You smell like stripper and shame
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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