Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize