If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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