I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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