i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
