when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
