CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
two words: eviction party
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
