I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I made him laugh his dick is mine
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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