Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
