I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
