i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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