hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
