Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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