I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
