I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
