Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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