He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
