do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
