Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
