A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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