the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
