East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
