and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
