No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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