Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
