was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize