we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
