Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
