"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
