Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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