The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
