went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
