So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
