carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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