Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
