I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
