Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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