we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
