i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
