dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
