I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
