Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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