I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
