I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
