Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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