then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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