just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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