I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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